All Things Reveal All Other Things

My poem, Insomnia is featured on Claire Beynon's blog, '...All things reveal infinitude...' Read it HERE. She has a lovely blog where she generously features poets every Tuesday. The picture to the left from Claire's blog is a detail from Peter Nicholls' steel sculpture - 2009.  Be sure to check out Claire's art blog: http://www.clairebeynon.co.nz

Many thanks to Claire for featuring this little-known poet.

"When What To My Wondering Eyes Should Appear...."

...but miniature Carolers! Yes, apparently I've become "that" person to the good folks of the local church - the widow down the street, the old lady who took care of another old lady who died. Whatever the reason, it was a delight last night to open the door to these munchkins singing, "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer," each facing lighting up on the asides of  'like a lightbulb'  (please note the shy nose poking out of the red and black parka, lower right).

I'd like to thank all the people who commented on my last tiny poem and the poetry link I put up. I've been contacted to have one of my poems published by an online poetry site and they wanted a link to my other poems, hence, the list. I appreciate your comments so much. That you would take the time to read any of my poems is a wonder to me - a Christmas Miracle. It makes my heart glow.

Happiness of the Season to you all!

Postmortem

So she took the bud                          
out of her ear
and put it back
on the flower.

It was,
there is,
always

consilience.

A Link To My Poetry

CLICK: (my favorites are emboldened)
Pete's Bones
John, Reille and Elizabeth's Genomes
Body Scan
Unsent Note to Sister/Friend
Haunted By Hope

Green Lake

Soluble
Diary Entry
For What Remains
Clouds
Poem In My Pocket
Dancing

There Is A Place

Rosetta Stoned Poem
The Quarrel
Obit Fit
Didion Idiom

Poetree

It Follows

Bluebirds Can't See The Color Blue

Bell Canyon

Rotten Advice
Vocal Solo
The Key To Learning My Song
The Meaning of I Mean

Insomnia

Thoracic Outlet Syndrome
The FBI Looks At My Hard Drive
Postmortem

1914 - 2010

Carol C. Schoenhals


February 07, 1914 ~ November 23, 2010


Carol Chapman Schoenhals, 96, passed away on November 23, 2010 at her daughter’s home in Salt Lake City.

Carol was born on February 7, 1914, in Salt Lake City, to David Charles Chapman and Hazel May Evans Chapman. She was a lifelong resident of Salt Lake City, graduating from East High School in 1931. After high school she worked for Mountain Bell Telephone Co. for six years. She married Alvin Joseph Schoenhals on June 24, 1940, in the Salt Lake Temple.

Carol was a talented musician. She played the piano beautifully all of her life and sang in a number of choruses. She had a beautiful soprano voice. She was a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for eight years. Music was always an important part of her family’s life, bringing enjoyment to her children and to many other people as she often played the piano for Relief Society meetings, programs and groups. She also played the organ for several years.

Carol was a loving and affectionate mother and grandmother. She and Alvin were the parents of three daughters, Carolyn (Robert) Doty, of Logan, Utah; Kristin (Richard) Winterton of Midland, Mich.; and Kathryn Feigal of Salt Lake City. She had 14 grandchildren: Lee Doty, William Doty, Beth Ann Doty, Lynne Marie Kerhin, Matthew Doty, Anna Doty, Elaine Bradley, Marcia Marshall, Jill Campbell, Daniel Winterton, Todd Edwards, David Edwards, Mark Edwards and Mary Ann Edwards. She also had 35 great-grandchildren.

Carol was preceded in death by her husband, Alvin; her sisters, Virginia C. Wood and Esther C. Jensen; her brothers, Eugene H. Chapman and David Marden Chapman; and one granddaughter.

She was a member of Daughters of the Utah Pioneers for many years. Her family members will remember her for her kindness, her devotion to family and her sense of humor. She was a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The family would like to thank the many friends in Bonneville Ward for their many thoughtful deeds and loving support of Carol over the years.

Funeral Services will be held on November 27, 2010 at 12 Noon at the Bonneville Ward, 1535 East Bonneview Dr. Friends may call beginning at 10 AM prior to the service.

Condolences may be sent to the family at larkincares.com

Oh, The Ignominy of It All

This is a phrase Dad said a lot toward the end of his life, and now Mom says it. She also says, "Old age isn't for sissies." Her moments of clarity about her situation are surprising to me because they are in such drastic contrast to how she is during and after her little strokes (T.I.A.s). We say the aliens have visited her because it feels so other-worldly to both of us. She says it is like dreaming with her eyes wide open and when she tries to express what is going on, it is a word salad of utter nonsense.

I watch the tiny rise and fall of life as she sleeps.

I think the end will come like the boyfriend I'm told will appear when I'm not looking for him.  I know this is a spurious comparison and probably in bad taste, but Mom's departure is on her mind and everybody who attends to her. I'm glad severe is part of persevere because no one is going gently into this good night. Even though she says she is ready to go, I see her raging against the dying of the light.

I see her perk up when visited and fed by my angel friend, Cathy.

I think I look alarmingly like my mother in features and age.

I delight in the animated expressions between brother and sister (Uncle Dave is 95).

I muse constantly about the meaning and grace of all this. I have felt unable to look at or write on blogs for over a month and then several blogging friends inquire about my well-being and I feel propelled toward expression again.

I have an encounter with a friend who is unable to accept my affection and gratitude and I struggle to not blame, grasp and justify either of our behaviors. What I make of the people who appear in my life, as well as the circumstances, thoughts, emotions and contradictions is up to me. I realize the sweet kiss of freedom is a concept in my mind and I can surrender to not knowing how my life will be used. I realize that trusting thoughts, events and people has been disillusioning and part of my story (always the Drama Queen). Most of my story has been a lie of protection and safety. I remind myself of favorite lines from books that encourage me to not identify with whatever is bothering me, but to engage in what is effortlessly present. "Freedom is the essential nature of consciousness, and consciousness is the source of individual awareness." from The Diamond in Your Pocket by Gangaji

No condition can be labled ignominious when looked at with the natural curiosity that develops when old concepts are released. It is just a thought. I can change my thoughts (but probably not Mom's). I can stop searching for something to rescue me from myself. I am free.

(Top picture taken by Dad while serving on his mission in Germany. All other photos, taken by me)

Jim Murdoch's "This Is Not About What You Think"

This is Jim Murdoch.  He's Scottish. He's intelligent. When you read stuff he's written and understand it, you feel intelligent too.

I can't even begin to pretend that I know how to review a book, but what I can tell you is why I enjoyed this collection of poems.

Jim writes how you wish you could write, but not so much that the jealousy prevents you from laughing at the things you wish you'd said, like, "I'd give my childhood a three. That's me being generous." This is from his poem, "Marks."

His poems follow a thoughtful progression with "Advice to Children" interspersed throughout - things you probably are happy to read now, but glad you didn't have to hear when you were a child. This, from "Imaginary Friends: "People leave; it's what they do..."

As you read along, you will be struck by his wit and adeptness. You'll be thinking, "Oh, there's so much humor here. This is a fun book." But at page 39, your breath will catch in your throat. The poem "Still Birth" will make you realize this man can not only be glib, but he has a depth of feeling that transcends gender barriers. Then you will go back and reread his poems with new eyes.

A major theme in Jim's life is THE TRUTH. You will see it here. In his poem "Shadowplay," he says, "What are lies but truths gone rotten and secrets lie in that no man's land between the two." Man, I wish I'd written that, because I think it's so true.  The major theme of his blog and novel, Living with the Truth is found in "Old Flames In the Rain."   

"...and the truth about lies

is we can't live without them.

Not even the white ones."

The title of this collection is ironic because Jim gives you permission right away to make of these poems something he never intended or imagined so it pretty much is about what you think.

 Click HERE to order
to read excerpts - http://www.jimmurdoch.co.uk/think_excerpt.html

Update on My Neice's Band: Neon Trees and "Animal" Climbing the Charts

 ROLLING STONE'S ARTIST OF THE WEEK: NEON TREES
Utah synth-pop band scores Hot 100 hit and love from the Killers 

Who: Provo, Utah synth-pop revivalists Neon Trees. The all-Mormon band started up in Southern California in 2004 when frontman Tyler Glenn and guitarist Chris Allen's fathers suggested the two play together. "They both thought we were deadbeats," says Glenn. The band migrated to Utah separately and made fans in the Killers, who helped them score a record deal.
Sounds Like: Their debut Habits is filled with Eighties pop meshed with bombastic alt-rock choruses — like the Killers playing backup for Duran Duran. "Your Surrender" is a U2-style singalong, "1983" is a bratty dose of keyboard-driven pop punk and Hot 100 single "Animal" is an irresistibly catchy lovesick dance tune. The band's is pretty clear about its inspiration: "New Wave is basically all I listen to," says Glenn.
Killer Instinct: After playing clubs for a few years, the band got its break in 2008 when Killers drummer Ronnie Vanucci Jr. dropped in to see a Vegas gig. The drummer was so impressed, he offered the band a few opening slots on the Killers massive Day & Age tour. "We've always played like we play in front of thousands of people anyway," says Glenn. But the band hasn't rested on its connection to Brandon Flowers and Co. "We've made a conscious effort to not always associate with the Killers," says Glenn. "Ronnie even said, "I think you guys can stand on your own.' "
 
Clean Team: The band doesn't preach their Mormon teachings in their songs, but none of them drink or party. "It's funny how backstage, if you say you're doing it for God or doing it for morals or for health, people say, 'That's stupid' or 'lame.' But if you say you've been sober for 10 years, they respect you because you've been through AA," Glenn says. "Half the people think I'm on drugs anyway, I've always had a drone-y southern California voice and worn sunglasses in an airport when I shouldn't."
Bad Romance: Glenn's favorite track on Habits is "Our War," a heartbreaking plea to a girl he dated for two years. He even prepared for marriage by asking his aunt for a family heirloom ring. The song traces the day things started to fall apart, when the couple were supposed to take a trip to Salt Lake City. "I was at a bus stop waiting in the rain all day," he says. "I walked all day in the rain. Looking back on it, it felt cinematic. But since then it's bottled up and made me not trust. Maybe the whole next Neon Trees album will be more angry."

Let me try to put a spin on events that keep crossing my mind...

First spin: It's better to change the nature of a relationship 

than lose significant people in your life.

Event: Two ex-boyfriends and I go to a jazz concert together (July, 2010).

Event: Ex's wife & family & our children and my parents 

celebrate together our son's willingness to serve (1992).

Second spin: Children usually teach us more than we can ever teach them.

Event: Daughter goes to Sr. Prom with a bunch of independent, 

strong-minded girls who are accused of being lesbians 

trying to make a statement (which they aren't and weren't, 

but would defend to a profound degree ~ they just proudly didn't have boyfriends). 

She and her feisty friends, after having to fight their way past 

a bunch of uppity, judgmental people who wanted to send them away, 

are able to have fun and take a group picture (1994).

Third Spin 

Sometimes Everybody Loves Raymond is more important

than Voltaire.

Event: Being drawn into her room every time Mom laughs uproariously (July, 2010).

Fourth spin (borrowed from Michael Ryan):

When the immutable accidents of birth -

parentage, hometown, all the rest -

no longer anchor this fiction of the self

and its incessant I me mine,

the words won't be like nerves on a stump

crackling with messages that end up nowhere

and I'll put on the wind like a gown of light linen

and go be a king in a field of weeds.

                                                                      kassphoto, Midway, UT 7/2010

(this post inspired by Eryl's latest post)

What different spins are you putting on things lately?

Happy Blogiversary to Me

It's My First Blogiversary!

How nice you stopped by to join me in celebrating my first BLOGIVERSARY. It’s been 

tremendous fun, and I’ve enjoyed meeting so many wonderful, interesting bloggers and 

readers that became friends in the process. I especially want to thank those bloggers 

who dropped by to say hello in my early days, followed along and encouraged me. 

These were my first posts:

Monday, July 13, 2009

Luke 8:36

And those who had seen it told how (s)he who had been possessed with demons was healed.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Solitude

"Being alone and liking it is, for a woman, an act of treachery, an infidelity far more threatening 
than adultery." Molly Haskell