Tuesday, October 27, 2009

If You're Looking For Literary Content - Go Away

I'm awash in a sea of flashing insights and downright idiocy. I think that's why I blog. Some of the things going through my mind:
How much I love my Aunt June.

I went to visit her with my mother the other day and she had some lovely peaches,

...and these lovely ladies have nice new scarves.
(without a sense of humor, we are nothing, right?)
{emailed to me today by fun friend, Linda}
...and as soon as I dared post this slightly provocative photo,
I thought, 'but you might offend someone.'
.....and then I thought,
"where no offense is intended, it is foolish to take any -
where offense IS intended, it is foolish to take any."
Does anyone know who said that?
It's quoted all over the place around here
(Salt Lake City, Utah).
...and then I thought about Amanda Palmer,
the daughter of a friend in Massachusetts.
She is an Indie Pop Star. She sang with Keith Lockhart
and the Boston Pops Orchestra
last New Year's Eve and is going to do it again this year.
She is 'OUT THERE'.....and I love her.

When she was a little girl, I accidentally shut her fingers in the sliding door of my VW bus. I'm so glad she can still play the piano and the ukulele. There is nothing more sickening than the wail of an innocent who has been hurt and you are the one responsible. She has a fabulous mother who comes from a very proper background (she was somewhat of a rebel herself so I'm sure she supported Amanda in all her artistic expressions). Amanda's  sister, Alyson, was my son, Todd's first girlfriend.

I alternate between the image I have of myself as a responsible mother/grandmother and someone who is also 'OUT THERE.' I think the real issue is - I have no impulse control. I have done things in performance that were spontaneous and funny and then I went home afterwards and thought, 'what the....?'  I wish I could totally have the confidence of Amanda Palmer, who knows who she is and is undeterred by what ANYONE thinks....but I have these voices in me....especially now that I'm old and supposedly demure and wise.

...and then I click John Ettorre's post and look up Frederick Seidel and find this poem:

...and then I remember the woman on Broadway with the beaming face, who was probably my age, but I thought of her as old back then in the '70's. She was more beautiful than terrible and obviously loved Manhattan and eating in that diner and I vowed I would be an old woman like her.

...and this reminds me of the 'old' woman I saw skiing who was also beaming and exclaiming, "Whee!" every time she made one of her slow not-so-great Stem Christy turns, ...and I vowed I would also be an old lady like her - though I admit I go around smiling a lot merely because I've seen pictures of me lately where I'm not smiling and I see the turkey neck and dangling jowls and I think, 'maybe that wiggle-waggle would tighten up if you smiled.'

...and then I think, 'you're too self-absorbed...you should adopt a refugee,'....but then I realize my limitations and decide to blog all of this instead, because blogging slows down my thoughts that rush around as fast as photons.


  1. Love those scarves -- know a few people I'd give them to for Xmas presents.

    I lived near the City Dinner 25 years and saw those old people all the time, never had negative feelings about them, they were regular neighborhood denizens, some lived in my apartment building. The poem almost says being old is the same as being dead. WRONG! Being old is what people make it -- like your smiling skier, maybe, or your Aunt June.

  2. I just found a reference to that foolish-to-take-offense quote: It's a Heber J. Grant episode where an old man tells Grant that only a fool would take offense where none is intended. The congregation went off of that quite enthusiastically, chuckling about how foolish it is to get offended. Someone went as far as to recount what someone else had said, that if it was a fool who took offense where it was not intended, then the greater fool was one who took offense where offense was intended.....Ah, google!

  3. Well, I'm not offended. I got a good laugh. Wish I knew where to get those scarves. Aunt June looks like she's having fun.

    Being "out there" is fun. I'm often accused of being a crazy old lady and I love it. (I'm 72.) We spend most of our lives, especially mothers and grandmothers, doing the right thing.


  4. Those scarves are a classic, as is your lovely writerly riff.

  5. this was great

    i don't even know where to start

    admittedly i rarely read anyone's entire post, but you sucked me in :)

    i feel old and ugly too and self absorbed and 'safe' yet weird

    i smell what you're cookin girl

  6. I LOVE Amanda Palmer! I had the privilege of seeing her twice in concert here in Salt Lake. She is amazing! Such a great talent!

    Love ya!

  7. An answer to the question you left on my blog which I would email except I don't find an email link. I move to Cape Cod from NYC when I quit my job and basically retired to write, write, write, which I'm doing.

    I'm delighted you found me because that I meant I found you and I love your blog and I follow some of your links as well. So let's have a hug-in or something of the sort virtually.


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